The What Else Can I do

This producer is more annoying than destructive. Give them a job, and they’ll do a wonderful job. Hand them a clip board, and the glasses comes off and they are Superman of paperwork. The problem is they are Superman with ADHD and they are also a small child. Unfortunately force feeding them Ritalin is against the law.

Eventually they wander off and they get IN YOUR WAY. They repeatedly ask “What else can I do? Does wardrobe need someone? Does makeup?” You’ll reach into your pocket to get money out to run to Pizza Hut (Or more like Little Caesars) and they’ll be all “Please don’t make me go get pizza. I just want to be here.” They never say “I just want to learn” because we all know those producers are scum, but they want to be there to see what all is going on. They have yet to be harden by miserable directors and artistes. They have yet to sit through a premiere thinking to yourself, Wow, I’m really glad that this theater has a bar…. because this film needs alcohol on the level of Jon Bonaham drinking.

They are generally dewy eyed at the end of the day. They can’t wait to get back the next day. The plus of the What Else Can I Do producer (which is usually a production assistant who has been so hard working that they have been told that they will have an associate producer credit) is that they do everything. They help put stuff away. They’ll help with traffic control. They clean. They careful load trucks.

I love these producers because I remember being that producer. Now, I’m tainted by awful productions and directors who need to get bent. I’m jaded by producers who have stabbed me my back and then smiled at me after they did it. I hope these producers still remain wonderfully optimistic because even on an indie production, they feel like its a Star Wars production.


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